please, remember me.

well, it has been a while.

another sleepless night. lately, all i can think about, is how much i want to get away. emotions have just flooded me, and left me feeling, a little empty. one of the hardest things i have brought into my grasp this past week is a sudden realization. a realization that i have lost someone. i know, that they are still there, and that they still care, somewhat. but they don't need me anymore. they have moved on. and all i can think about is how much i wish i could change time. 

i was driving, and i was listening to 0040 by olafur arnalds. i can not remember where i was driving from, but i know i was driving home. it was night time and i was just getting lost in the music. and for some reason, a great amount of nostalgia came over. a time when things didn't matter, all there was was fun. i was simply happy. not that i am saying i am not happy now, but i am not as happy. most likely, the person i want to read this will not see this, and in some ways i am happy, and in some ways i am sad.

but dear friend whom i want to see this, i want so badly to tell you how i feel. i want so badly for our friendship to blossom and be what it used to be, and what sucks is knowing that most likely will not happen. i want you to know how i feel but i could not do that to you. because it is not all your fault, i will give you that. i think it is just something that was bound to happen as we grew up, unfortunately. you were my other half. and even though we are not close anymore, you still are. but you are so happy, and i could not be so selfish and tell you to your face how i feel, because i know you would feel bad. i know you would get upset, and i don't to do that. i have so much i want to say, but i can't find the words. so i will leave it at this. i love you, so much. and i miss you more than anything. 

please, remember me.

andrea.

(andrea, forever. andrea, infinite.)